Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Spiritual Diary: Chapter 19


Om Gurubyoh namah

Om Shri Sainatha namah.

Om Ganapathaye namo namah:

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007.

The spiritual diary that I ended in the previous chapter on December 4th, 2005, has been resumed for no apparent reason today.

The urge to continue writing the journal that had suspended itself most mysteriously over a year and half ago, came right after my usual Thursday morning prayers to my Guru Santhananda Swamigal as well as to Shirdi Sai Baba.

How did Shirdi Sai Baba appear in my spiritual path and what has been the nature of his subtle guidance? Most important, what is the link between Shirdi Sai Baba, Baala of Nemili and Sri Raja Rajeshwari Peetam of Rochester? Have the various questions about the purpose and intent of my paintings and the larger goal of helping humanity been resolved?

The events that have occurred during the interim period ( between December, 2005 and May, 2007), have certainly provided more than just a strong indication that many of my doubts will be soon answered. I am very clear for the first time in my life that the child- Goddess of Nemili has set in motion a sequence of events that will put me very firmly on a shining path that will lead directly to Her feet.

My life is now, and will be in the future, even more inextricably linked with Shri Baala Peetam at Nemili.

Christmas of 2005 was spent with my family in London. During January 2006, I had an opportunity to visit India along with my elder daughter.

However, before that I felt the strong mental suggestion to do a portrait of Baala.

I listened to all the cassettes I had purchased at Nemili on my previous visit in 2002. I concentrated on this great goddess and requested her permission for me to paint her. I drew a beautiful mandapam and when I finished it, I asked her silently “ How do I portray you? Should I draw you in the standing or seated pose?”. The answer came as if in a flash during my meditation. “ Draw me as standing on a lotus pedestal. Do not use any image to copy my face. You have to do this picture all by yourself using your own imagination”.

I started work on this image and managed to finish it within a few weeks. Baala is shown as a young teenager wearing a skirt and a upper garment , holding a book in one hand and prayer beads in another. I have no idea why I depicted her as a teenager instead of a young 9 year old girl as She is represented at Nemili. All I know is that my hands were guided to draw what the great Goddess willed me to depict.

I was happy to let the portrait unfold at its own pace and didn’t really worry about what my hands drew because my thoughts were at all times focused on her.

At this stage, only the pencil drawing was being done.

A few days before I left for India, I pencilled in the eyes. A huge wave of emotion hit me inexplicably just as I was drawing her left eye. I started to weep uncontrollably and my tears filled her eyes and poured all over my drawing. Finally, just as abruptly as it had started, I stopped weeping, mopped up the water stains and somehow managed to finish the image without causing too much damage.

I placed the completed pencil drawing on the dining table and hoped I could complete it using colorful paints after my return. Somehow Baala’s plans were completely different to those of mine!

My daughter and I arrived in Chennai on Thursday, January 19th, 2006 .