Happiness is thinking of you

SRI BALA CHARANAM

English Translation of:
“Ninaikkum Pothey Anandam”


Happiness is thinking of You
Happiness is coming Near You
Bala standing before You
Gives us so much Happiness.
Seeing you is happiness
Songs of you are happiness
Bala, coming to your house
Gives us so much happiness!
Happiness is looking at you and
Happiness is seeing your eyes
Happiness, Happiness, Happiness, Happiness.


Oh my heart, how you rejoice
Every day you think of her
Maybe once? Maybe twice?
Maybe many, many times!
Oh sweet life, how you melt
In her memory you’re fulfilled
Is that happiness, or is this joy?
Is it a new ecstasy?
Divine beings and the Holy three
Come searching for you
Can’t you see?
All your wishes, all your wants
They will grant you straight away
Oh sweet one, my little one
My very heart and my life
You’ve stolen completely!
You’ve stolen totally!


When night and dawn
They do merge
At sunrise and sunset
Your sweet songs resonate
With such joy, with such joy.
At that moment your lovely face
Granting fame and good fortune
See how it glows, see how it shines
All our wishes they’ll come true.
Relatives and friends do come
Searching hard to see your face
Wealth and pleasures we don’t need
Saying this we come to you
Inside you we come to rest
Within you we come to melt.
There’s no need for us to stray
There’s no need to go elsewhere!

Translated by Uma Kumar

Little Child, Precious Child

SRI BALA CHARANAM.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF :
“Chinna kozhundai chella kozhundai, Bala Varugindraal”.

Little child, Precious Child
Bala here she comes
What we seek to ask
Before they can be voiced
Bala grants them all
Our Bala she grants them all
Before our eyes, She does appear
“What more do you need?
Don’t worry, don’t be confused
Bala is here”
She wipes away our tears.


When will a new dawn
Begin in my life
We have often thought.
When will this sorrow
Finally depart, we have often cried.
When we beheld you today
In our hearts we rejoice.
No more worries
So we proclaim
Oh Bala, we worship You!

What penance did we do
In this birth to attain you
Setting eyes on You
Almost at once
Our bodies shiver with glee!
From having no bonds
One bond I have found
No other place
Has been like this before.
Nor have our hearts rejoiced
As in this place
Bala we worship You!


( translation by Uma Kumar).

Sri Bala's Divine Miracle!

Sri Bala Charanam. JULY 13^TH, 2009.

Sri Bala’s Divine Miracle!

“Keep your right leg absolutely still. Don’t move your body for the next 45 minutes”, said the lab technicianas he prepped me for an MRI scan of my knee.

I closed my eyes as I slowly slid along the conveyor belt into an extremely claustrophobic capsule. A pair of headphones were clapped on my ears. “You might hear some really loud noises, don’t be afraid” said the assistant helpfully, and then I was left completely alone.

I tried to compose myself while lying on that very narrow bed inside the cylindrical shaped tunnel where magnetic rays would map and take a detailed picture of my leg. A dye was to be injected so that the soft tissue areas surrounding the bone could be highlighted and interpreted accurately. “ Please help me Bala”, I screamed loudly, yet silently in my head. “Where are you when I really need you?” I whispered and then tried to bring all my energies and concentration into the middle of my eyebrows. I imagined I could see Sri Bala Peetam at Nemili and the smiling faces of Sri Ezhilmani, Baby Amma, Baba.G, Mohan and Murali.

I tried to hold on to these familiar faces as the loud noises started, beating out a tuneless pattern like a hammer hitting a tin drum.

How did I end up inside this enclosed space? Why was I inside a hospital? Why was Bala making me undergo this unreal scenario?

Well, it all began like this. For a month now, I had experienced pain and slight discomfort in my right leg. This had started while I was engaged in the task of creating the beautiful “mandapams” for Sri Bala. In fact, on the day I delivered Bala’s sparkling dresses and the colorful mandapams, my right knee was extremely swollen and painful to the extent I could not carry out my namaskarams to either Bala or the Peetathipathi, Sri Ezhilmani.

I treated this condition with ice packs and pain killers and by the time I reached London, it wasn’t too bothersome. However, especially after my arrival in New York, the right leg was acting up again . I found that my knee was hurting all the time and walking and climbing stairs were proving to be difficult.

Although I did allow a few weeks to slide by, I knew that I had to take myself to a doctor soon. I was merely finding excuses to visit the hospital. First, I busied myself doing the “homework” set by Baba.G in his CD “Guruvarullum Thiruvarullum”, where he had asked his students to carefully sift through all the songs he had written and jot down his advice on various topics like “anger, ego, hatred, vengeance, etc, etc”.

Next, in the final lecture for the month of June, Baba.G had asked us to listen once again to all 3 CDs he had published and then write him a letter.

While I started off this letter in Tamil thinking I would merely emphasize a few of the salient points in his weekly speeches, I got totally carried away. I ended up writing about 22 pages in fluent Tamil ( this itself is a miracle for someone not used to writing in this script for over 30 years). The second astonishing fact was that I was able to quote from many of Baba.G’s sayings each week providing what looked like a concise précis of all his advice thus far.

I mailed this long letter to Baba.G on July 6^th and called him on Guru Poornima day to both receive his blessings as well as to alert him to the fact he had to read a long letter from me.

Baba.G’s reply was amazing . He said “No one except you turned in the first homework I set . However, a relative in the family has completed the second homework and has handed over his thoughts on my weekly speeches in a long letter format. Since you are the only lady to finish it in this manner as well, I am really happy. I’m going to publish these letters in a pamphlet soon.” He gave me all his blessings on that auspicious day honoring our Gurus and I felt totally happy and relieved as if I had passed out successfully after an arduous exam!

The day after Guru Poornima, I decided to take myself to a nearby hospital to have my knee checked. I read Bala’s “Noi Neekum Pathigam” and the “Andhadhi,” and filled with a lot of confidence and the certainty that Bala would surely take care of me, I set off to the hospital along with my husband.

It was a nice, sunny morning and we walked the 20 blocks up to the hospital. My husband, noticing that I was walking briskly, commented that the doctor would probably let me off quickly with a few painkillers. We reached the hospital by about 10 a.m. and got the “fast track” service to see a doctor that morning. After a few preliminary checks, my knee was duly examined and since it was still swollen, an x-ray was required to get a clearer picture.

Half an hour later, the x-ray results were produced and the doctor returned to interpret the results. One look at his face and I knew something was wrong. The x-rays had revealed an abnormality. A dark mass, presumably a tumour or a bone growth, was visible near the knee. Possibly this was the culprit causing both the pain and a certain loss of sensation in my leg. The doctor suggested gently that this situation needed further investigation. “It could be a benign growth or a cyst. However, we can’t rule out cancer. So, you need an MRI scan to help give the proper diagnosis”, he said.

I could see the doctor and hear his words clearly. However, “I” seemed to be a mere witness to what was going on. One part of my mind was telling me “ this scene is unnatural and surreal. Surely, Bala is not going to make me undergo a major health set back”. However, the reality was that the next step would be a complete analysis of my blood and kidneys to see if the latter could process the dye that would be injected during the MRI scan.

The doctor stood up and said “Please don’t worry. We will merely evaluate your condition and give you the option of having the knee surgery eitherhere or in London”.

Once again, while I registered this conversation, my mind refused to accept the implications. Involuntarily I started to shiver even though it wasn’t cold inside the room. My husband remarked that perhaps we should proceed directly to London that weekend to perform the exploratory surgery on the knee. His reasoning was that we should not delay finding out whether the tumor was cancerous or not.

Meanwhile, my daughter was summoned to the hospital and I could see that this news deeply troubled her. Although I tried to remain positive, we all knew that inevitably my knee required some immediate surgery to determine if the “dark mass” was indeed “sinister”.

The hours passed by slowly. It was almost 3 p.m. by the time the doctor popped by again to apologize for the long wait to get into the MRI room. Apparently there were many emergency cases that day and there were no openings until 6 p.m.

There was nothing else to do but resign myself for the long wait. I took out the Bala Parayanam book to read the “Noi Neekum Pathigam” ( Song to remove all diseases). Almost immediately I heard Bala’s voice “Don’t read this prayer inside the hospital”. So, I decided to read through the calming verses of Sri Bala Andhadhi. Although my lips moved to enunciate the words, I could not concentrate. So, with a silent appeal to Bala, I closed my eyes and thought about her instead.

It was exactly 3.55 p.m. when my daughter and husband returned after a late lunch. I remember the time exactly because I got the directive at that moment to send an SMS message to Baba.G’s cell phone. I requested my daughter to type out the following message.

“ Sri Bala Charanam. Namaskaram. I’m sending you this message from my daughter’s cell phone. I came to the hospital to check out my knee pain. The x-ray was abnormal. A tumour is suspected. I’m waiting to get an MRI scan done.

We are all very shaken up. Please Baba.G pray to Bala for a miracle.

If you get this message please send me an SMS”.

My daughter glanced at me while typing out the request for a “miracle”. She said “Mum, you can’t really ask for the impossible. Just accept in your mind that some sort of exploratory surgery might have to be done to get a biopsy of that tumor. Maybe you can ask Baba.G to pray that it won’t be cancerous”.

I replied “ No, I am going to request Bala for a miracle. I want to ensure that no knife comes anywhere near my knee!”

My daughter sighed in disbelief but dutifully typed up the message. “ Wait” I exclaimed, “don’t hit the send button until 4 p.m.” But it was already too late. The message was sent at exactly 3.57 p.m.

In my heart I knew that the message would probably never get read instantly since it was about 1.30 a.m. in India. Baba.G was bound to be fast asleep!

For the next couple of minutes I closed my eyes and thought of Baba.G’s face in the portrait I’d done .My reverie was broken by the “ping” of an SMS message.

My daughter came up to me with her phone “ Mum, he’s sent you a reply”.

I could hardly believe my eyes! It was exactly 4 p.m. ( Bala’s number).

The message read “ Baba.G and Bala are always with you. Don’t worry, all your problems will soon melt away”.

At that very moment a hospital attendant approached me with a wheel chair. There was a vacancy in the queue for the MRI scan and I was to be taken to the third floor x-ray room immediately.

I knew with certainty that Bala had heard my plea. My eyes were moist and a fresh energy surged back.

A few moments later, I found myself in another room waiting to be taken into the area where the MRI scan was to be done. Hardly ten minutes after the first SMS message arrived from Baba.G, another message was sent to my daughter’s cell phone. This one said “ Bala’s and Baba.G’s rains of blessings are on you”.

I thought of my painting of Baba.G. I recollected the manner in which Bala made me change the background color three times and later made me paint many gold dots on the pale blue color as if to depict Baba.G would rain down blessings on all Bala’s devotees.

So, this is the background story of how I came to be lying on that narrow bed, with my knee strapped in, hearing discordant, loud hammering sounds as the magnetic imaging device was mapping out the contents of my leg!

I remained in total darkness for about 30 minutes as I closed my eyes to avoid both the bright lights inside the capsule as well as to avoid the feeling of claustrophobia.

I imagined I was in Bala’s Peetam at Nemili. I pictured in my mind’s eye, Ezhilmani Mama walking in with his customary smile, greeting me with a joke. I could see Baby Amma smiling at me , enquiring how I was. I saw Mohan wearing his red, silk dhothi , doing “abhishekam” to Bala so tenderly.

I could see Bala, little Bala standing proud and “tall” despite her physical stature, accepting the turmeric, coconut water and milk “abhishekams”.

I could see very clearly Mohan taking out the “alankara deepam” and swirling the lamp so lovingly and respectfully in front of Bala.

Then, I could see Murali taking care of all the people who had gathered at the Peetam, attending graciously to all their needs.

Finally, I got a glimpse of Baba.G. However, unlike the others, I could only see his face just like it is in the painting I have done of him. I tried very hard now to concentrate on his face.

I started at the crown of his head and moved my attention to the three vibhuthi stripes on his forehead and then down to his eyes. I looked into his big eyes, dark and fathomless as if outlined by an eye-liner pencil. They seemed to be looking inside the whole of me- trying to send me a message. But I could not hear it. Then, my attention was drawn to his nose and finally rested on his mouth.

At this point, the whole face came into view and the mouth started to move and talk :

“Ungallukku ondrum illai. Neenga Ezhundhu Vara Poreenga. Intha Navarathirikku, Neenga Nemilikku Vandhu Engalloda Irukka Poreenga. Ondrum Illai Ungallukku. Bayam Vendam”.

“Nothing is really wrong with you. You are going to get up and walk. This Navarathri, you will be spending with us in Nemili. Nothing’s wrong with you. Have no fear”.

The hammering sounds rose to a crescendo and then stopped for a bit. The lab technician came into the room and said I’d done well so far and hadn’t moved at all . “Now”, he said, “I’m going to inject the dye. Please keep still for another 15- 20 minutes”.

I was pushed into the confined space once more. This time, I was feeling a bit uneasy. I just wanted this episode to end quickly. Once more the loud noises began to resonate in the small chamber. With my eyes closed I appealed to Bala.

“Oh Bala, please help me. I can’t stand this anymore. Why are you putting me through this unnecessary stress and tension?” Bala’s face came floating into my mind’s eye. This was the face painted on the wall of the Peetam by an artist, long time ago. Her eyes were very bright and Bala’s face came closer and closer towards me. I could now see her standing in her green skirt, with her right hand raised high in blessing. I could see this hand also coming closer and closer to me. I could see this small, tender hand decorated with “Marudhaani” (Henna), with one small orange-red circle in the center of the palm, surrounded by smaller dots and the fingers covered too, with little orange- henna caps.

Immediately after this vision, another face came into view. This was the face of Bala in the painting I’d given to the Peetam in January, 2008. This time, Bala’s eyes were glowing like diamonds as she came closer to me. Next, I could see two hands. Why, these belonged in the painting of my “Arpudha Bala”.

Then, I saw the face of Arpudha Bala merging into the face of “my” Bala painting and then both these faces dissolved into the face of the “standing Bala in the green skirt”.

All this happened within a fraction of a second. What happened next was even more astonishing. The “merged” face of all these three Bala’s entered the face of Baba.G in the portrait and seemed to get totally absorbed in his face!

Baba.G’s face looked like an amalgamation of all the Bala images I’d drawn so far and then a golden glow seemed to emanate from his face and spread all around like a halo!

I remembered instantly, the reason why Bala told me to put in that golden halo when I painted Baba.G’s portrait.

Bala’s message sounded very clearly at that moment:

“Nothing is wrong with you. The MRI scan will show no tumor. I have orchestrated this whole incident to “prove” to you how much power my son Baba.G possesses”.

The next minute I felt a warmth over my knee as if someone was caressing it. I thought it must be the dye doing its job.

A few more seconds and then Baba.G’s face appeared and said “It’s all over now”.

At that very moment, I heard the door of the room opening and the technician entered to pull me out of the capsule.

“What happened to you just now?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I enquired.

“Your leg moved after I injected the dye. Up until then you were keeping very still”.

I was totally confused. I certainly didn’t recall moving my leg. Worried that this could mean the results might be skewed, I said “Maybe it was an involuntary action. I hope it won’t hurt the results”.

The man didn’t answer; just took me back to the waiting area where I could see my daughter and husband waiting anxiously.

There was a further wait for about 45 minutes before the doctor re- entered with the radiologist’s reports.

I took out the precious Bala dollar and photo that Ezhilmani Mama had given me, from my purse and clutched it tightly in my left hand.

The doctor’s face revealed straight away the good news. He said “Look, the radiologist says that the mass isn’t malignant or dangerous. However, the bad news is you do have a degenerative bone condition that has to be treated. I’ll give you some pain killers and you can get follow up treatment back in England.”

These words were like manna from Heaven. While the possibility of frail bones is something I had to attend to immediately, it was indeed a great relief that the tumor wasn’t cancer!

I thanked the doctor. It was exactly 7 p.m. when I sent the following message to Baba.G.

“ Thank You Baba.G and Bala for the miracle! You were the doctor who helped me today!”

The following morning (Thursday) I listened to the CD “Guruvarullum Thiruvarullum”. Today was the first Thursday in the month of July and Baba.G had elaborated on his role as a “Guru” who comes home to personally help each and every one of Bala’s true devotees.

My eyes brimming with tears, I called Nemili and spoke to Baba.G.

“Thank you so much for all your help yesterday”, I said “but tell me something. How come you were awake at 1.30 a.m when I sent that SMS message?”

Baba.G’s answer is perhaps the true climax of this entire incident.

He said:

“ Amma, I was woken up at that early hour by none other than Bala herself. I glanced at the clock and it was just past 1.30 a.m. I was directed to pick up my cell phone and read your message. What is really surprising is that I can’t usually read without my glasses. Normally all reading material would appear blurred. However, at that moment I could read your message very clearly. Yet, I only scrolled down to the bit where you had written you had a tumour and were waiting to go in for the MRI scan. I immediately sent you that first message and prayed for you. Then, I lay back in bed and went back to sleep. A few moments later Bala woke me up and said “Uma needs your help now. You want to know what a “miracle” is? And how you can perform miracles for other people? I will give you the power to help heal people. However, I shall tell you whom to use it on , when and how to administer it. Just at this moment Uma needs your help. This is what you should do. Get up and sit on the bed with your legs stretched out. Massage both knees and legs three times with your hands. Remove your hands on the final time and throw away all her problems. After you do this send her a second message”.

Baba.G continued “ This is exactly what I did. I massaged both my knees three times and almost like a sorcerer who removes the negative effects of “evil eyes”, I threw out whatever was causing you a problem. Then I sent you that second message”.

“Do you know what else Bala told me that night?” he carried on “ Well, she said this whole world would soon become aware of exactly what I can accomplish but my fame will be spread by those very people who are already, currently famous in the media today for their spiritual pursuits”.

I listened with awe. I couldn’t really say anything. After this revelation I was rendered completely speechless.

I thought of that mysterious “warmth” I had experienced in my knee and the remark from the lab technician about “how my leg had moved” without my awareness.

To think that Bala herself had intervened on my behalf; to even imagine that she had heard my call for help from thousands of miles away; to even consider for a moment that this divine child had woken up her son in the middle of the night and passed on instructions to cure me; to even think that such “miracles” can happen in the world we live in today, and I’ve been fortunate to experience it, is something I shall cherish until my dying day!

This entire incident defies all known logic and I am convinced they can be fully understood only by those who possess complete faith in Bala.

I have, thus far, written a lot about my experiences with Sri Bala and about the unique family living in her house at Nemili. I have painted a lot of images of Bala at her command and certainly over the last few months she has ensured that I understood the value of total faith in both her and my Guru Baba.G.

However, this recent experience has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Sri BALA does not exist in Nemili as just a small statue hiding in the folds of a vast, colorful skirt.

She is definitely a “living” presence; a mischievous child Goddess who is loving and affectionate towards her devotees, always hovering nearby, waiting to rush in and protect them from impending danger.

I shall finish writing about this amazing incident by bowing in respect to Sri Baba.G who has been endowed by Sri Bala with such “miraculous” powers so that even he is not totally aware of his full potential!

Baba.G’s parting words to me were :

“Only this morning (Thursday), I read your original SMS fully. You had requested me to pray to Bala for a miracle. I wasn’t even aware of that request. I didn’t even read that sentence. Yet Bala made sure you got exactly what you wanted- just that Divine Miracle”.

“ When everyone else abandons you

I am here to protect You,

When everyone else lets go of your hands

My tender hands shall clasp yours warmly

And protect you until the very end”

Sri Bala’s Golden words as proclaimed by Sri Baba.G.

Sri Bala Charanam

More Skirts and Many Coloured Mandapams For Sri Bala

THE PROJECTS CONTINUE….



It seemed to me that once I finished a task set for me by Bala, the next one automatically cropped up!


Over weekend of May 16th, certain circumstances led me to take the decision to stay on in Chennai until the first week of June. Although I knew I had to go to New York to be with my daughters, there was still an intangible, unknown force holding me back in Chennai.

I fully understood that Bala had not yet approved of my plan to leave India. I was also intensely conscious that she had requested me for several more stone- studded skirts.

Since I was postponing my departure, I decided to purchase the required colored stones and leave them in India pending my arrival closer to Navarathri when I could use them to bedeck the skirts.
Partly by way of an exploratory trip, I descended into the bowels of Mint Street once more hunting for stones. As Swarovski crystals are very expensive, I decided to look out for “cheaper”, colored glass and acrylic stones.

Finally, on Monday May 18th, after hours of searching, I found a shop that seemed to possess an abundant stock of various types of beads, sequins and stones.

There were stones in glittering shades of pink, blue , green, red, gold, orange etc. I was bewildered by the rich assortment and was at a loss what colors to pick . I need not have worried . Bala made this choice extremely simple. Within a few minutes, I had selected about 15 different colors. Now came the difficult choice I had to make. Since all of these colored stones were going to be stuck on cloth skirts or “pavadais”, I had to buy some white crystals to give a proper contrast. For example a skirt filled with pink stones would need a contrasting diamond-effect border or have some other effective design strewn all over on the body of the skirt.
Two varieties of white crystals were available and I had to select either the cheaper acrylic stones or the more expensive but more beautiful, diamond-like Swarowski crystals.
I chose the cheaper variety . In fact, I was congratulating myself for being “economical” for once, in my life!

The next day, Tuesday, May 19th I made a trip to Nemili in the late afternoon. A few Bala devotees in Chennai who had come across my website requested me to take them to see Bala and with Bala’s permission and Grace this trip came to pass.
It was also my intention to ask Ezhilmani Mama when I should return to London.

We reached the Peetam just after 5 p.m. and apart from Mama and Baby Amma, not too many people were about. After the customary introductory speech for newcomers, Ezhilmani Mama showed Deeparadhanai to Bala.

I was sitting right in front of Bala and savoured the moment by closing my eyes briefly. Almost like a whip shot I heard her voice:

“Do you think you can finish me off CHEAPLY?”

The word “cheap” was emphasised strongly.

I was totally stunned by Bala’s question and decided then and there to cast caution and budget to the winds and carry out this project to the best of my ability.

Soon after he gave prasadam to all of us, Ezhilmani Mama retired to his room and I realised I hadn’t really asked him when I could depart for London. My mind was still thinking about Bala’s question. I couldn’t even discuss this with anyone else in the Peetam since I was so embarrassed. I remembered Mama’s words everytime he welcomed a new visitor to the Peetam. He would remark how Bala is in total command in this house and would often go on to narrate the many “direct” and awkward questions she has asked him as well as visitors in the past. My favourite is the one where she has asked “ Do you think I’ve got nothing better to do than sit here and welcome all sorts of people. Let not any fool think he is coming here to see me. It is I who have taken pity and finally allowed him to visit me”. Bala has also stamped out the ego of many VIPs and wealthy people by refusing to accept their “charity”.

Numerous are the stories Mama has regaled us with. However, this was the first time I had a personal experience.


I got up from the dais slowly, as if I was suspended in a trance. Baby Amma lingered by the wooden Mandapam holding on to one of the side posts. I walked up to her and prostrated, asking her blessings so I could make beautiful coloured skirts for Bala.

Baby Amma responded “ Don’t think you can make skirts only for Bala. You will have to make one for her Mother, Sri Raja Rajeshwari as well. I think ten skirts each should suffice. Oh, and we do need a smaller one for Bala for the chariot procession
( Thaer Ula)”.

I smiled inwardly. Bala was certainly having fun with me! Not only did she tell me off for even “thinking” I could use “cheap” stones but now, she had doubled the quantity of skirts that were needed.

I promised myself that I would complete this project, witness the happiness in Baby Amma’s face when she saw these skirts and then depart. I sincerely prayed to Bala and left the Peetam that day with a mixture of both elation and apprehension that this task should be completed to Bala’s satisfaction.

The following day saw me back again in the heart of Chennai’s crowded streets purchasing more stones. This time, I purchased a sizeable amount of sparkling diamond-like Swarovski crystals as well.

On Thursday, May 21st, I had promised to take my aunt to Nemili. A friend also joined and three of us reached Nemili around 4.30 p.m. I had taken with me samples of the various stones I’d purchased in order to place them at Bala’s feet and get her blessings.

Once again, there were hardly any other visitors and I was able to converse freely with the family members regarding the specific manner in which I had to make these tiny skirts for Bala. Mohan gave me a few skirt samples for both Bala and her Mother as well as a tiny skirt for Bala’s outing in her Chariot.

Finally, when I was about to take leave, Mohan came to me with a big cardboard carton. Inside this was a plastic Mandapam, (decorative miniature hall-like accessory), an exact replica of Sri Bala’s mandapam in the Peetam. Apparently, these mandapams fashioned out of plastic were not available anymore and Mohan wondered if I could try and scout in the back alleys of Chennai Town for a few more in different colours. The eagerness and interest that all family members, particularly Baby Amma, showed with regard to beautifying Bala and making her the Grand cynosure of all eyes at the Peetam , moved me to tears.

I promised them I would do my very best . Just as Mohan handed over the plastic model of Bala’s Mandapam to me, a loud rumble of thunder could be heard. As we walked out to the car, I could see that the hitherto blue skies were now completely overcast. Spectacular flashes of Lightning lit up the dark grey cloud blanket. We hurriedly got into the car just as the Heavens opened. Baby Amma and Mohan saw us off with the parting words “ Don’t think this is a normal occurrence. Nothing connected to Bala is either simple or straightforward. Don’t think it’s an easy matter to walk in and take her skirts and Mandapam”.

I already knew in my heart that what just happened was momentuous. This was no ordinary event. Taking Bala’s permission to make her Mandapams in different colors or fashion stone studded skirts for her to wear, was a great boon indeed which she had condescended to bestow on me!


On May 22nd, ( appropriately, since it was Bala’s number), I began the process of getting these skirts done. I summoned a few tailors and carefully explained the precise manner in which each skirt had to be done. At the same time, I was able to contact a few more artisans who would be able to fix stones onto these skirts in a creative manner. We decided to start work after the week end and I gave them a deadline of ten days for the whole project.
At the time of writing this, I still have no idea if Bala will bless me by completing this project successfully!

On the same day, I took the plastic replica of Bala’s mandapam and returned to the crowded shops hoping to find a few more of the same style. For three hours I searched in the tiny shops, traversing through several narrow streets. However, I wasn’t able to find a single Mandapam that matched the one Mohan had given me.
Finally, with a heavy heart, I decided to decorate just the one, sample mandapam and returned to the stone- shop to purchase slightly bigger stones for use on this plastic mandir.

There was a huge crowd inside this tiny shop and service was slow. I was already tired after hunting for the Mandapam in dusty alleys and a further wait of one hour in this tiny shop was too much for me to physically endure. My driver who had accompanied me was also tired and weary. I told Bala in my mind “ Oh Bala, you are really trying me too hard. This is the final time I’m going to come to the Town area of Chennai shopping for You”.

No sooner had this thought crossed my mind when I was startled by a sharp, splintering sound. The plastic Mandapam that my driver was holding in his hands had been subject to a small accident! Accidentally my driver had exerted pressure on the front portion and the front pillar snapped in two.

This was the last straw. I simply got up and we both left the shop. On the journey back I remained silent. I tried not to think of anything, even Bala. However, one thing was sure. I could not possibly repair this mandapam and then decorate it and return it to the Peetam. Although we could glue the broken pieces, I wasn’t ready to give Bala a broken Mandapam.

Returning home, I had a bath, lit the lamp in my Puja room and sat in front of Bala. I apologised to her for those words spoken out of tiredness and sought her help.

That night, my mind was uneasy and I did not sleep well at all.

The following morning, I went down and took a look at the Mandapam. We had glued together the broken parts effectively and once I painted it in a different color, I was sure the crack would never be seen.
In any case, my driver called Mohan since he too felt guilty at having broken this precious Mandapam. Since the Nemili family were on pilgrimage the phone connection wasn’t clear but from the brief conversation with Mohan, it appeared that we could fix this mandapam, redecorate it and bring it in to Nemili.

Despite these assurances, I wasn’t satisfied. Then, something strange happened.

My driver lifted the cardboard box housing the plastic mandapam and I saw something written underneath the box. Why, here was the telephone number and address in Mumbai of the company that manufactured these decorative accessories.

What utter fools we had been, wasting time searching for this when I could have justed lifted the phone and dialled this number.

Without further hesitation, I did just that. One little snag, though. I do not know Hindi and the voice at the other end knew neither English or Tamil. Somehow, I made the man understand I wanted a plastic Mandapam and asked him if there were any sales agents in Chennai.
I was given a name and phone number.

Within a few minutes, I was talking in Tamil to a man who used to be a wholesale distributor for this particular type of Mandapam in Chennai.
However, my elation soon subsided when he reiterated that he had no stock left. Just one left, he said and that was in his Puja room. No, he could not part with this at any cost.

I was totally dejected now and appealed sincerely to Bala.
For a few moments the man remained silent. Then he said “ You come to my house. After I see you, I can place an order with my friend in Mumbai. I’ll check and see if he has any Mandirs of this type left for sale”.
He gave me his address.

He lived in ( you might have guessed) in the same, crowded, Town area of Chennai that I had by now become very familiar with.
Once more that morning I embarked on another outing hoping and praying to Bala that I would be successful in locating or ordering her special mandapams.

Within half an hour we located the contact’s house. An old man opened the door and I could see instantly that the focal point of his tiny flat was an orange, plastic Mandapam, an exact replica of the one in Bala’s Peetam.

After a few minutes discussion with him, and a few phone calls later, I have placed an order for twelve mandapams to be couriered to me in Chennai from the warehouse in Mumbai. I have given this man Bala’s sacred photo and Prasadam and at the time of writing, am still waiting for the packages to arrive. He has promised me I should get them by Tuesday, May 26th.

The outcome, however, rests ONLY with Bala.

Similarly, while I have engaged a few tailors and craft persons to create lovely skirts for Bala, no progress has taken place so far. I can only sincerely pray that Bala will soon curtail her games and grant all her devotees the thrill of seeing her gorgeously bedecked in shining, dazzling and shimmering creations.

A tiny voice in my mind keeps reminding me “ You can never play games and hope to win where Bala is concerned. Play with her and lose gracefully. She will then clasp you to her heart with boundless love”


May 25th, 2009.












THE GRAND FINALE


June 3rd, 2009.


Whatever I thought was impossible has been accomplished through Bala’s boundless grace. All I do know is I really wanted to create beautiful skirts for Bala so Baby Amma’s dream would come true. So, within a short period of exactly thirteen days
( from May 22nd until June 3rd), I have been able to design and make sixteen sets of beautiful stone studded skirts for both Bala and her mother, Raja Rajeshwari. In addition, I have made a very tiny skirt embellished only with sparkling rhinestones for this precious child- deity to use whenever she sits gleefully on her swing or inside her chariot!

Furthermore, ten beautiful Mandapams , in different glowing colors have been painted and decorated with twinkling stones to house both Bala and her glimmering dresses.

I am poised to make a trip to Nemili tomorrow carrying this precious load for the little child’s approval!


However, the past couple of weeks haven’t been without either heartache or problems. Although I had the help of a couple of tailors, the progress was extremely slow to begin with. The craftsmen responsible for sticking the stones did not come in every day as initially agreed upon. Also, there was a lot of stress and tension regarding the arrival of the plastic Mandapams. Although I had pre paid for them to be couriered to Chennai from Mumbai, they did not arrive for nearly a week. Even when they did come in, I found to my horror that only five of the twelve I’d ordered were intact. The rest had suffered in transit and there were broken pillars and domes in all the Mandapams.

Nevertheless, I did not give up hope. Painstakingly and lovingly, I repaired the cracked pieces, spray painted them in various bright colors and have decorated them to the best of my ability. Similarly, the small crew of helpers have toiled away diligently creating a dazzling array of lovely, glittering stone skirts for dear Bala.


What remains to be seen is if Bala and her family really give their seal of approval!




SRI BALA CHARANAM.


June 4th, 2009.

On the evening of June 3rd, all of those many- colored mandapams for Sri Bala had been packed into large cardboard boxes. The glittering skirts were put away carefully into colour- coded brocade bags made with left over fragments of fabric.

It was 7 pm and I lit the lamp in my puja room and was about to listen to Bala’s songs. The first song I played was a “Thank You” or “Nanri Paadal” composed by Baba.G in 2008. This song is a sincere expression of gratitude to Bala for all the miracles she causes to happen in our lives. I thanked her for enabling me to carry out this most recent skirt- making project.

The song had hardly ended when the phone rang. My sister in law was on the line. She said “ Both your brother and I are planning a sudden trip to Shirdi tomorrow. We have made excellent arrangements to have a few uninterrupted moments in front of Sri Sai. Would you like to accompany us?”

I was stunned!

I had been longing to make this pilgrimage for many years now, especially since I had finished my portrait of Shirdi Baba in 2005. However, every single time, there appeared to be obstacles. Now, just as I was poised to go into Nemili on a Thursday carrying Bala’s skirts, comes this request!

However, I did not hesitate for a single second. I replied “ Thank you so much for inviting me. Hard as it is to turn down such a magnificent opportunity, I am committed to go to Nemili tomorrow. In fact, I’ve informed all the little grand children of Ezhilmani that I am bringing in new skirts for Bala. So, they will be disappointed if I don’t show up”.


After I put the phone down I realised this was no ordinary occurrence. Why, this was just one more of Bala’s little “tests” to see whom I would choose.

This time, there was no mistake. I had straight away ticked the correct answer; “B” for “Bala”.

So, in the afternoon of June 4th, we set off to see Bala once more in her powerful abode in Nemili. Our car followed a slow moving vehicle carrying a very valuable burden! Our departure got slightly delayed since I insisted on making a detour to get fresh flowers for Bala!


It was just past 5 .30 p.m. when we reached Bala’s house and I was surprised to see Sri Ezhilmani Mama himself waiting outside in the front porch. He told me he had been awaiting my arrival for the past one hour.

We carried in the boxes one by one into the Peetam. I kept apologising to Mama for making him wait to perform the Deeparadhanai since I wanted to unpack all the boxes myself and place the Mandapams and skirts right in front of Bala.

It took a good half-hour to get this small exhibit laid out to my satisfaction in front of Bala’s tiny Peetam.
By this time all the children of the house, a few relatives, Mohan, Baba.g, Baby Amma and Murali had gathered around to witness the “arrival of these new dresses for their precious child-resident”.

My heart was filled with joy as I looked at Baby Amma’s beaming face. Carefully she inspected each dress and was overjoyed at the colourful display. The children competed with each other to pick their favourite colour. Ezhilmani Mama, said he liked the “baby” pink color the best and then proceeded to show Deeparadhanai.

I can’t think of a happier moment in my life!

I was tired yet completely fulfilled that this task had been carried through to Bala’s satisfaction.

A small regret remained that two mandapams ( out of the twelve ) I’d ordered had broken completely. However, Bala soon saw to it that even this little unhappiness vanished.

Observing the successful transformation of those simple, nondescript plastic mandapams into bejewelled, colourful thrones, Mohan brought in two older Mandapams from his room and asked me to re paint and decorate these as well!


Finally, just before I left Bala’s house I received Bala’s command or “uthiravu” for my departure back to London. She has asked me to leave Chennai on June 10th and has said I will return during September to witness Navarathri at her Peetam.

Baba.G took me aside and said “ I received this information just as a flash while going to tell Mohan to come down and look at the skirts you brought. Bala has told me She really loves you. However, she is extremely possessive and will not let you out of her sight. That is why she will not let you visit any other temple, or do anything for anyone else except her”.

I pray that Bala will always be with me!

Ezhilmani Mama has said I am a part of his family and we will visit Shirdi together taking Bala also with us, one day.

Meanwhile, I am all set to depart to London after visiting Nemili for a final time tomorrow to celebrate Sri Baba.G’s 42nd birthday.

With Sri Bala’s blessings, I shall put up all these writings on my website tomorrow along with only those photos of my paintings She consents to making public.

She has already turned down the request to make public her coloured, jewelled skirts. “ These photos will be taken at the Peetam officially and sent to devotees” is her Arul Vakku to Baba.G.

My next project will be completing the nine divine pictures Bala has commanded me to draw to illustrate her Navarathna Malai ( Song of Nine gems).


Sri Bala Charanam.

Sri Bala Thunai.

June 7th, 2009.

Sri Baba.G

More Skirts And One More Painting

MORE SKIRTS? AND ONE MORE PAINTING!


While this new request for additional skirts from Bala did not really surprise me, I thought I had sufficient time to carry out this task. After all,Navarathri wasn’t until September. I had enough time to carefully plan and carry out this project of stitching more stone-studded skirts in various hues.

I was, of course completely wrong in making assumptions about anything, especially where Bala is concerned.

I have said at the outset that this trip to India has been filled with many unbelievable events. These are continuing to happen even as I’m typing up this incident.

I have forgotten to mention another interesting episode that happened earlier. On that auspicious ,Friday ( May 1st), when Renuka first called me from Australia and told me that Bala had asked me to bring in a new skirt for her, there was yet another surprising revelation.
I put down the phone after my initial conversation and went ahead with planning the skirt.
Within 20 minutes, the phone rang again. It was Renuka once more. She said “ Uma, I was in my kitchen just now making prasadam, when Puttaparthi Sai materialised in front of my eyes. He says you had planned to see him in Puttaparthi but did not make the trip. He wanted me to tell you that Bala and he are the same. He is waiting for you in Puttaparthi to give his blessings”.

Wow! Absolutely no one was aware I was even “thinking” of visiting Puttaparthi and then cancelled it because Bhagawan might have gone to Kodaikanal. I was completely at a loss for words. Later, I felt this was a calling for me to visit Puttaparthi after all!

However, Swami had just gone to Kodi on April 23rd. I wasn’t sure how long he would remain there. I made some enquiries on Monday, May 4th and found out that Bhagawan had left just that moment from Kodi back to Puttaparthi. My informant did not know how long he would stay in Prashanti Nilayam and said if I left Chennai on Tuesday morning, I might be lucky to get an evening darshan. I knew this was no mere coincidence. After all, Sai had mentioned to Renuka he was waiting in Puttaparthi to see me. Furthermore, his departure from Kodaikanal at the precise moment I called seemed to be nothing short of extraordinary.

So, I embarked on a two day trip to Puttaparthi. I left Chennai early on Tuesday, May 5th and reached Puttaparthi by lunch time. The trip took 7 hours and for most of the travel time, I was watching videos of Sri Ezhilmani’s Bheema Ratha Shanthi function ( 71st birthday) and various other DVds I had purchased in Nemili. My thoughts were concentrated only on Bala and her family,

We reached the hotel in Puttaparthi by 2 p.m. and I was informed that I should get to Prashanti Nilayam by 2.30 p.m. if I wanted to join the queue to see Bhagawan during the evening darshan at 5 p.m.

It was an extremely hot day and by the time I took my place in the queue , there was already a long line extending out of the main prayer hall. I sat on the hot stone steps for a few hours waiting to go inside . There was a further wait in another seating area for an hour before I could actually sit inside the vast, airless and hot prayer hall. All around me people sat patiently waiting for Bhagawan to make his appearance.

I had not eaten lunch since I had dashed almost immediately to Prashanti Nilayam. It was hot and stuffy inside the hall and I was hemmed in by people on all sides. I closed my eyes and saw Bala, Sri Ezhilmani Mama and Baby Amma. I held on to this vision for a long time. It seemed they were there whenever I closed my eyes.

Finally, at 5 p.m. a car drew up at the entrance and Sri Sai made his appearance.
The adulation of this vast crowd was extremely touching to behold. To the background music of melodious Bhajans, Swami was wheeled along slowly in his wheel chair. He appeared quite frail and his eyes were completely devoid of any expression. There was neither a smile nor a frown on his face as he slowly moved in his wheel chair through the aisles. People who were fortunate to sit in the front rows were in ecstasy and kissed the ground he tread. I was sitting seven rows behind and although I did get a good glimpse of him, I was quite disappointed that Sai had not turned in my direction.
For a full one hour we listened to Bhajans. Sai was conversing with some people as he sat on the dais. At the end, he departed in a special car and left the grand hall.
The crowd started to disperse and I got up rather painfully from my cramped sitting position.

The hotel I retired to that night, Sai Renaissance, was of extremely poor quality. The food was inedible and I went to sleep feeling totally let down by the entire experience. I had felt absolutely no positive vibes from Bhagawan at all. Perhaps, I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep, I have not been fortunate to recognise his greatness! Somewhere, in my mind’s eye, I could see Bala smiling. I held on to that tightly.

I returned from Puttaparthi the next day and decided to visit Nemili the following day since it was a Thursday. Renuka had called me several times and requested me to take a photo of Sri Bala in her stone skirt. I promised I would take in my camera and e- mail the photos.

So, on May 7th, I set off to Nemili in the afternoon, reaching there by 4.30 p.m. I took a few photographs of Sri Bala in her new skirt and then requested Mohan to take a few close-ups since he is an expert photographer. By this time, it was past 5 p.m. and Baba.G who normally observes a Mouna Vratham ( vow of silence) on Thursdays, walked in. I asked him if I could take a photo of him too, so I could do a portrait for his 42nd birthday, coming up on June 13th.
Sri Baba.G was happy to pose for me. So, there we were right in front of Bala with Sri Baba.G placing his hands in the precise manner Bala had instructed him to do so for this special photo. I requested Mohan to take a few shots with my camera and while he was doing so, I prayed fervently to Bala that I should be capable of doing this portrait.

There was a special reason why I had this urge to complete Baba.g’s portrait. On two occasions previously, I had attempted to draw him but failed. The first time, the painting did not turn out well at all and Bala asked me to put it aside and concentrate on portraying Sri Ezhilmani and his wife. The second time when I intended to depict Baba.g, Bala told me to instead draw nine images of herself on various animal mounts. So, this was my third opportunity. I felt if Bala gave the green signal, I shouldn’t have a problem.

I started work on this painting the very next day. It had been my intention to do this as a pencil sketch similar to the portrait of the “divine couple”. However, Bala had other plans.
I was to make this painting as “unique” as possible and when I went to purchase charcoal pencils, the well informed sales person in the art store suggested I use a combination of light and dark brown pencils to gain a natural effect. Since I confessed I had no knowledge how to work with these pencils or blend in the colors, he gave me a book with special instructions. I thanked him and left. Needless to say, this book was never used.

For this painting too, or rather, especially for this painting, Bala was completely in command.

Although I’m not an artist, and not at all experienced in drawing portraits especially using these particular type of charcoal pencils, this life-like portrait of Baba.G was made possible only through Bala’s divine grace.

I actually finished the drawing very quickly, within a few days. Bala insisted I draw a slight “glow” around Baba.G’s right hand placed on his heart. There is no doubt at all that both the eyes and hands are the two most important facets of this drawing. Bala has made sure I emphasised both these features . Nevertheless, it was while drawing Baba.G’s face that Bala taught me an important fact within a split second.

It happened this way. I was working on Baba.G’s face late at night. It was close to 10.30 p.m. and I was trying to get his chin just right. Working at close quarters with his face, something started to happen in front of my eyes. The cheek line and jaw line appeared to look more gaunt and for a few seconds, I had the distinct feeling I was drawing the face of Shirdi Sai Baba. It was as if Bala was telling me “ There’s absolutely no difference between this Guru and the most revered Sai of Shirdi.

I suspended work that night and went to bed. The next morning, when I came down to take a look at the painting all I could see was Baba.G as his normal self, right hand on his heart with his deep eyes looking intensely and directly at me. Although I heaved a huge sigh of relief the memory of those few seconds last night when Baba.G had given me a vision of Shirdi Sai Baba is unforgettable indeed.

The painting of Baba.G turned out better than I expected. Perhaps Bala wanted this done perfectly since it was a birthday gift to her favourite son. In any case , she made me change the background color three times until it was the perfect shade of blue. Similarly, the border around the painting also changed hues several times until I chose red. Finally, Bala made me fill in the azure blue , sky-like background with a myriad of tiny gold dots. “ These are my child’s blessings raining down from the skies to alleviate the suffering of everyone who comes to him and places trust in him”.

Baba.G’s portrait was framed and completed on Thursday, May 14th, exactly one week to date from the time I took his photograph. I took it with me to Nemili and offered it to Bala for her approval before handing it over to Baba.G . He was amazed his portrait had come about within such a short space of time.
It was an extremely happy moment to witness this portrait also take its place alongside the wall in Bala’s very own home. As Baby Amma remarked “ Only now, this Peetam is looking really full. All these paintings give a sense of richness to this dais”.

Could I ask for a better compliment from Bala?